“I want to be with you, be with you night and day. Nothing changes on new year’s day.”- U2
Well, this is awkward. I have completely abandoned this blog for months. For the majority of the semester I was struggling with the aftermath of the car accident I had been in, that I stopped blogging for the fear of sabotaging myself in the case that we would go to court. Now that I think back, I wish I had not let that stop me from writing.
Either way, here I am. I’m back and ready to continue to keep track of my life and leave some nice journal entries for my future self.
A lot has changed, and the remaining hasn’t. Right now I’m in Morelia, incredibly sick, and struggling even to type out these words; however writing in this blog again has been long overdue, and I will not let this internal fever stop me.
It’s almost time for the new year, and honestly for the first time in years, I genuinely feel that I’m in a good place to start the new year. I aced my first semester of grad school. I struggled the first couple months, but after receiving a sort of warning from a professor, I was able to get back on it and finish strong. My work has evolved in ways that I didn’t really think it would, and honestly it makes me very excited.
I have learned to love myself again, and much more than ever before. I was re-reading two blog posts that I wrote during my break down after the car crash in August, and they reek of a huge lack of self- worth. That wasn’t the real me. That was a version of me that I don’t recognize now and that I hope I don’t become in the future again. At the time, I had deleted them from the blog, and now I decided to keep it that way and save those just for me, as reminders of what not to do.
I made many new friends and acquaintances, went to some concerts, met a lot of cool visual artists, acquired a lot of cool art for my personal collection, and learned a whole lot about the medium of photography. Did I mention I got back together with Abhi? Well we did, it has been amazing, and I miss him dearly since he is currently in New York.
I turned 23 a couple of weeks ago and it was the best birthday I had in years. I was surrounded by people I love so much and it was the first time I was actually excited to start a new year of my life. Perhaps that’s why I’m not as excited for new year’s… because each new year starts on my birthday and I’m so excited for the possibilities that are to come:
Pink hair? A trip to Italy or Argentina? A new semester of growth for my artwork? Yes, please. I just need this cold to go away. Year 23, treat me well please.